I have made the decision to end my time in Thailand and
return back to America. I’ve told a few
people this and they want to know why.
What happened? What went
wrong? And all I can say is
nothing. My host family was great. My co-teachers were great. All of my fellow volunteers are amazing. The best I can come up with is: “It’s not you, it’s me.” I just feel like this isn’t a good fit for me and
my heart isn’t in the job. This decision
was a very hard one to make, but it is right for me.
I am, however, so thankful that I have had this experience. I was able to meet so many amazing people –
both Thai and American. I was exposed to
a new culture, language, and religion. I
got to see a part of the world I have never been in before. I learned so much about myself and I have a
renewed appreciation for my family and friends who have supported me throughout
this entire experience.
I owe a special thanks to my host family in Nakhon Sawan –
especially my host mom. I didn’t truly
realize how much I cared about her until I had to say goodbye. It was a tough goodbye and both of us were
really upset. But in all situations, my
host mom thinks she understands me best....
“I understand why you’re going home Rebecca. It is because your parents want you to have
babies.”
Rebecca, I just wanted to leave a quick word of support! I was a volunteer in Group 123 and chose to leave my service at the end of September last year (after about 9 months). I had exactly the same feelings - the country is amazing and the job was fun, but it wasn't the right fit. I wasn't getting out of it what I thought I would and the pull back home was much stronger than the pull to stay. Never doubt your decision. I know this is a hard time and you go through a lot of "did I make the right decision" moments once you are home ... whether you think you will or not, you will. And YES, you did. If you feel it's right for you, then it's right for you ... and you made an AMAZING and COURAGEOUS decision to go in the first place. You made a difference in people's lives even in only a few months and you (and those people) are better for it. Congrats on your service, your new language skills, your adventures, your trials and tribulations, and for knowing yourself well enough to know that this is the end of one journey and the start of another. Have a safe trip home!
ReplyDeleteKylene
Wonderful wisdom from Kylene! Thank you - a powerful statement from one "who has been there".
ReplyDeleteLove to Rebecca
From all your cousins in CNY
I'm sure it was a very difficult decision for you and in the long run it will be the right decision. There are great things ahead for you and 2 little girls so thrilled to see you again!
ReplyDelete