it's not you, it's me

This is a post I never thought I would have to make, but I feel I owe it to all of my loyal readers out there.

I have made the decision to end my time in Thailand and return back to America.  I’ve told a few people this and they want to know why.  What happened?  What went wrong?  And all I can say is nothing.  My host family was great.  My co-teachers were great.  All of my fellow volunteers are amazing.  The best I can come up with is:  “It’s not you, it’s me.”  I just feel like this isn’t a good fit for me and my heart isn’t in the job.  This decision was a very hard one to make, but it is right for me.

I am, however, so thankful that I have had this experience.  I was able to meet so many amazing people – both Thai and American.  I was exposed to a new culture, language, and religion.  I got to see a part of the world I have never been in before.  I learned so much about myself and I have a renewed appreciation for my family and friends who have supported me throughout this entire experience.

I owe a special thanks to my host family in Nakhon Sawan – especially my host mom.  I didn’t truly realize how much I cared about her until I had to say goodbye.   It was a tough goodbye and both of us were really upset.  But in all situations, my host mom thinks she understands me best....

“I understand why you’re going home Rebecca.  It is because your parents want you to have babies.”

ping pong?

Whew!  Spent a very busy week away from my site.

I went to another volunteer’s site where I helped run a teacher training for 3 days.  We taught about 40 primary school teachers a little bit about everything: lesson planning, classroom management, and about a million different songs and games they can use in their classes.  It was nice to get the practice because I am sure I will eventually have to run my own training one of these days. 

at the hot springs

After the training, I spent a long weekend in Bangkok.  It is hard to believe that a city THAT big is just a few hours away from my small farming town.  My favorite part of the trip was visiting Chatuchak weekend market.  It was massive – 35 acres with more than 8,000 vendors.  Needless to say, I spent a ton of money and cannot wait to go back for more.

I also got to experience Bangkok nightlife.  A group of volunteers celebrated Cinco de Mayo with delicious Mexican food and a few too many margaritas.  I saw and heard some really crazy things while we were out at night (this is a family friendly blog so I will not elaborate) and had way too much fun.  I also got my fix of farang (foreigner) food and ate enough to hold me over for a while.

Overall, I would say my first real trip to Bangkok was a success.  Too bad I spent almost an entire month’s salary in 3 days. Oops…